Nancy Rollins

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Nancy Rollins: Runner Extraordinaire

I met Nancy over 14 years ago. She was introduced to me by a friend and had expressed interest in working as a therapist at the Center for Christian Life Enrichment.
She had spent the last 20 years serving as a psychiatric nurse, having worked at Northwestern and now at Highland Park. She was highly regarded by all the staff and thought of as one of the most outstanding nurses on the unit.

She was hungry to help others in need and had an amazing way with people. She won me over in the first few minutes. I just knew she would be an awesome addition to my staff. I could see her being very effective and the most important quality to me was her genuine compassion and concern for others. I had a sense we would become friends and partners in the work of personal transformation.

I learned that we both had spent a number of years on staff with Campus Crusade for Christ, sharing our mutual love for Christ and our passion for seeing others discover a personal relationship with God. I also sensed that she had learned a lot from her life experience and had a lot of wisdom. As an adult with a family, she too had returned to school and recently completed her Masters degree in Counseling from National Lewis University.

I was surprised and scared to learn that she had gone through a divorce. As a director of a relatively new counseling practice, I was not sure that the community we served would trust and respect someone who had been divorced. After hearing her story, I realized it was the same Nancy Rollins that I was getting to know who had responsibly and tenaciously attempted to save her marriage. I saw how much courage and faith it took for her to accept her inability to effect a change. I also knew she had remarried and had two sons, creating a strong and health family of 13 years.

I then became aware of how Nancy, having experienced the heartache and pain of a divorce, was eminently qualified to support others in learning how to heal and strengthen their relationships. She would end up becoming my most effective marital counselor. I knew I could send any couple to Nancy and they would bond and build a strong relationship through which the couple would heal and strengthen their partnership. She knew both the rewards as well as the hazards of intimate relationships.

In addition to her strong qualities and character, Nancy is one of the most highly respected masters level runners in Illinois and the Midwest. She holds nearly every masters level distance record in the state. She has run in nearly 60 marathons and completes in races of every distance every weekend through the running season. Nancy is not only an elite runner; she is a dynamic coach. She founded and leads the CLE Running Club at the Center for Life Enrichment, which serves a large number of people who want to blend the benefits of psychology along with the wisdom of heath and fitness.

Nancy is my trusted partner and senior therapist at the Center for Christian Life Enrichment. She not only powerfully and effectively serves her clients; she also is a mentor and supervisor to the rest of our staff. Read more about Nancy at www.cle.us.com or find her on LinkedIn.

The Bible is not Enough

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The Bible is not Enough

I remember when I came to the realization that the Bible is not enough. I was the campus director of Campus Crusade for Christ at Northwestern University. I was sitting across from a female student who was sharing with me that she had been repeatedly sexually abused as a child by her brother. I was stunned, shocked and horrified. I did not know what to say and fortunately did not say anything. I simply cried.

For years, I had been a serious student of the Bible, devoting hours each day to the study and application of the Scriptures. At the time, I was of the belief that a thorough knowledge of Bible would equip me to grow and mature in my spiritual life. In the moment following this student’s vulnerable disclosure, I experienced a crisis of faith. All the passages I might have normally referenced seemed trivial and unfitting. I did not know what to say. I was beginning to realize that the Bible alone was not the answer.

I had a sense that this woman was deeply wounded and needed something more than exhortation from the Scriptures. I felt like I was a Boy Scout with a first aid kit trying to help someone who was hemorrhaging from a severed artery. I felt small, ill-equipped, and powerless. I experienced a moment of disillusionment wondering how God could allow something like this to happen and how could I help her.

I reached out to other Christian professionals for help. Like me, many were appalled and uncertain about how to support her. Finally, someone gave me the name of a Christian counselor. At that time, Christian counseling was an oxymoron. Previously I had been of the opinion that counseling was for those who didn’t know Christ or who were ignorant of the Scriptures. If you were a devoted Christian, then you didn’t need counseling.

My eyes were opened. It was like a second spiritual awakening for me. The same passion I had for wanting to get to know God through studying the Bible, I now had for wanting to understand myself and others. How can I better appreciate why we do what we do? I resonated with Paul when he cried out, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. (Romans 7:15) I was beginning to understand that spiritual transformation involved more than simply attending church, studying the Bible and practicing spiritual disciplines.

I started reading everything I could get my hands on that had to do with psychology and spirituality. The groundbreaking works of Larry Crabb, a pastor and psychologist, were very helpful. Mysteriously, I stumbled upon a book written by Paul Tournier, entitled, Guilt and Grace. Tournier was a Swiss physician and author who integrated Christianity with an understanding of psychology. While reading his book, I suddenly felt, “I make sense.” I was beginning to understand why I struggled with fear, insecurity, and self hate. My eyes were being opened to the possibility of healing in my own hidden areas where I felt irreparably damaged. I was beginning to appreciate that I was in as much need of healing as my student at Northwestern.

I began to understand God and faith from a different point of view. I was seeing how God’s truth was made manifest in all aspects of life, including the both the physical as well as the social sciences. I was learning that the personal and spiritual aspects of life were harmonious. I had hope that I could truly heal from the inside out and I could learn how to help others as well. I was experiencing what it felt like to be in the flow and swimming with the current of God’s love and wisdom. Little did I know that this journey would lead to the formation of the Center for Christian Life Enrichment and the hundreds of lives that have been and are being transformed in a community of grace and truth. We make it our aim to “Live life abundantly.”

Our Hunger for the Shepherd

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I opened my email and saw a message from the chancellor of my graduate school.  My stomach tightens. This is not good. I open the email to find a short message instructing me to rewrite several of my papers.  Detonation! My kids refer to this as Dad turning into his “hulk-self.” I wanted revenge, retribution—a slow painful process of payback against my imaginary abuser.

Who doesn’t hunger and thirst to be seen, known, accepted, cared for, protected, guided, and comforted. We all long to return to the Garden, to be with the perfect parent. None of us, however, grows up in the ideal home or has perfect parents. Abraham Maslow recognized the developmental nature of our being, beginning with our physiological need for air, water, food, shelter, sleep and sex.  Without these fundamentals we cannot survive.  Although we might exist for a short while with our physical needs met, without having safety and security we will inevitably perish at the mercy of a predator.

With our physical and safety needs satisfied, now we can begin to address our hunger for love and belonging. We can’t stay alive without the basics, yet, what would be our quality of life if we never know love. Levels one and two in Maslow’s hierarchy addresses our drive to survive. Level three and above deal with our hunger to thrive and ultimately actualize ourselves.  We have been created for abundance—loads of love, nourishment, satisfaction, meaning, and joy.  We are designed to cultivate our gifts and abilities in the service of living extraordinary lives.

At the same time, Jesus says we are sheep.  We are contingent beings, even though we are all but limitlessly gifted; we were created to ”be”—to be fully in relationship with God, each other and ourselves. God has made us to be a magnificent reflection of Himself; capable and competent yet dependent on Him as well as each other. We can survive alone, yet, we only will thrive in shared community with one another.

Jesus claimed to be the good shepherd—the whole, complete and paramount parent of all his sheep. He sees us accurately and is attuned to our every need. He also desires mutuality, as the scriptures say, that his sheep know him intimately. In fact, it is written in the scriptures that Jesus was made in every way like us and tempted in all things as we are. He is us, created us, knows us, intercedes for us, and will never abandon us.

A Tribute to C. L. Blue (1916-2009)

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One year ago, on Thursday, March 26, 2009 my father, Charles Leroy Blue, died at the age of 93.  My wife, Sue, and I had gotten word he had had a stroke and somehow knew we needed to get out to California as soon as possible. In the space of 4 hours, we had dropped everything, purchased tickets, packed and headed for the airport to be with him. Yet, Dad had his own way of doing things and he was ready to move on–it was his time and his choice and there was no waiting around. We received the news Dad had died just before boarding our flight at Midway Airport.

Dad loved airplanes and loved to travel. How fitting that we would be in an airport when we learned of his death. When I was a kid, he and I would spend hours at the local airport listening to scanners monitoring the communication of the air traffic controllers. He spent a lot of his working life on airplanes and in and out of airports. After retirement, one of his greatest joys was planning and going on vacations.  I remember him telling me he and mom had taken over 60 trips following his retirement.

Dad loved to work hard and treasured the tools he owned.  I often thought he had a relationship with his tools, especially when I made the mistake of not properly taking care of one of his “friends.”  I learned from Dad to love hard work and to respect the tools I worked with. I learned how to set goals and strive toward accomplishing them.

Dad loved numbers.  There was a time when he could remember every place he had ever lived, including their addresses and phone numbers.  Any time Dad was a passenger in a car with you he would lean over and try and read the odometer. He was always curious about how many miles I had on the car and how many miles I would be driving to my next destination.

Dad loved routines.  Everything he did was a system—he had the same way of doing things every time.  One of his mottos was, “A place for everything and everything in its place.” I remember his morning routine: getting up at the same time, showering, making coffee, getting the newspaper, having the same breakfast every morning while reading his paper. He liked the same handful of restaurants and always requested the same table.

Dad loved discipline and determination.  Once he set his mind to something, there was no stopping him.  Whatever he did, he did it with willpower and resolve.  He smoked for 30 years and quit the day he finally became convinced smoking led to lung cancer. He drank alcohol until he was 86 and stopped cold-turkey when the neurologist told him he had no brain cells left to lose.

Dad loved the fire department.  When my brother, Bob, was 10 he was hit by a car and the quick thinking of the fireman who responded to the accident saved his life. As an expression of his gratitude, Dad served on the Fire Department Board of Directors for over 25 years, most of those years serving as the chairman.  They named the board room in his honor. How fitting that fireman from the Orinda Fire Department responded to my mom’s 911 call, cared for my father and transported him on his final trip to the hospital.

Most of all, my Dad loved my mom—it was not a perfect example of healthy dependence but it was a testament to his dedication and commitment to loving her to the best of his ability. The last conversation I had with my father, he once again said that Mollie (my mom) was the best thing that ever happened to him. He had a hard time living with her but there was no doubt he would not have wanted to live without her.

My Dad was a sensible man who lived faithful to his values. He was true to his vision and did what he set out to do. He could be rigid, stubborn, impatient and childish, often losing his temper when he did not get his way. At the same time, he cared deeply for all of us, dedicating his life to demonstrating his love by doing everything he could to provide for and protect us.

The last 20 years of my Dad’s life, he and I forged a respectful and loving relationship.  I am so thankful for the work we do at CLE to get clear and current Continue reading →